On an intellectual level, you know that worry does a lot more harm than good. When you worry, your muscles tighten. Your body aches. Your energy is drained. Charles H. Mayo said that "worry affects the circulation, the heart, the glands and the whole nervous system." Worse yet, your worrying does absolutely nothing to change the conditions you’re worrying about!
That said, here’s some encouraging news: you can learn to loosen your grip on worry. What follows are some techniques for reducing the amount of time you spend worrying:
- Don¹t fight worry. This is a battle where worry is going to win in the end. There’s an old saying, "What you resist, persists." Have your ever said to yourself, "I shouldn¹t be worried" or "I¹ve got to stop worrying?" Well, did it calm you down? No. You tried to resist worry and it persisted. Telling yourself not to worry is like telling yourself not to think about a zebra. (What did you just think of?)
- Recognize that worry is a choice you make. When you look at worry as a choice, you’ll be taking an important step in reducing the amount of time you worry. A part of you will begin to think, "Why would I ever continue to worry if I had a choice in the matter?" You may not think of worry as a choice because you developed the habit of worrying many years
ago. You’ve trained your mind to worry in response to certain stimuli. Fortunately, you can develop a new habit. You can teach your mind to act in a more constructive way ¬ such as being focused in the present moment or concentrating on something positive.
- Clear your mind. There are certain disciplines that enhance peace of mind and reduce worry and tension. Some of them are: meditation, yoga, Zen, tai chi and various martial arts. You can also clear your mind through prayer and by releasing your worries to a Higher Power. I can personally attest to the calming effect of yoga, having taken classes for the last few years. Yoga postures and relaxation exercises keep you in the present moment and open up certain tension areas in the body. Meditation also allows you to let go of worry thoughts and to focus on the present moment, where there are no worries. (While worrying, you are
concentrating on what may happen in the future.) Most people do not take advantage of these disciplines because they involve effort and they take time to learn. I suppose it all depends on how much you want to give up worry and enjoy peace of mind!
You can also clear your mind with physical exercise. I’m sure you¹ve experienced this feeling of well-being many times. You had a difficult day and you were worried about a lot of things. You went to the gym or took a brisk walk. After your exercise session, your mind was calm and at ease.
- Prepare or take some constructive action. Often we worry about how we’re going to perform a certain task. For example, we have to make a speech and we’re concerned about how the audience will respond. Instead of worrying, here’s a better approach: spend time preparing for the speech. The more you practice and prepare, the more confident you’ll become… and the less you’ll worry.
- Breathe. When you’re worried, your breathing becomes very shallow and your body is tense and uncomfortable. Whenever you feel worried, take some slow, deep breaths and you will feel calmer right away.
- Limit your exposure to the media. We are under attack ... from the media! This barrage of negative news is enough to make anyone worry. It has gotten to the point where you can put on any news channel and hear about murders, terrorism and catastrophes 24/7. There are panels of people discussing every potential catastrophe they can imagine. 99.9% of these gloom and doom scenarios will never happen, and yet they bombard our minds with this poison. Do you really need to hear that stuff? How is it helping you? You’d be hard pressed to find any stories that increase your peace of mind or have any positive aspect. You can get the news you need in a few minutes. Then shut off the TV! (Newspapers and radio aren’t much better, by the way.)
- Cut yourself a little slack. We often worry that things won’t go exactly as we want. We expect perfection and then struggle to somehow reach that ideal. If you continue with that approach, you’ll always be worrying because you¹re creating a standard you can’t consistently maintain. If you’re doing the best that you can, let that be enough. Nobody lands the sale every time… nobody hits a home run in every at-bat… and nobody makes a flawless presentation each time. Be content with excellence and stop worrying about being perfect.
- Hang around people who don’t worry. These people really exist, and it’s worth finding them. When you’re in the company of calm people, you’ll feel calmer. Furthermore, you can ask how they’re able to avoid worrying. You can then decide which of their strategies are appropriate for you.
Mark Twain once said, "I have spent most of my life worrying about things that never happened." There’s no question that worry makes you sick and doesn’t produce any beneficial results. Yet, I don’t think worry is a habit you can change overnight. Rather, it’s a subtle shift in where you place your attention. You loosen your grip on worry gradually. You can discipline your mind to spend more time in the present moment or on something positive. It’s well worth the effort ¬ and your body, mind and spirit will thank you for it.
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